Relationships and Family: Impacts of Broken or Dysfunctional Marriage/Relationships. Couple

Chapter Nine

Causes of Broken Marriages, Broken Relationships and Their Consequences on the Couple

 

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Now we have covered the formation of relationships and what sustains them. We have also seen what love is---a central issue in relationships. I have also discussed what could tear relationships apart. We have equally seen in great detail, the advantages and disadvantages of marriage and other forms of intimate relationships, as well as single living. Let us now take a good look at when these relationships are wrecked or at the minimum, when they undergo stress and strain. Human beings, it may interest you, can change like the weather. Human beings behave like a metal when exposed to intense pressure; tending to show considerable stress.

 

In this chapter, I will be concerned with the consequences of broken relationships. As a result of the considerable impact that separation and broken relationships entail on the individuals and the children, I will look at this in the next few chapters. This is so because a lot of individuals and couples who are entering into relationships seem not to be aware of the potential adverse outcomes of what they are about to go into. Also, broken relationships can and do have dire consequences for the individual, the couple, the family and the society at large. Most importantly, strained relationships have serious consequences for the apparently innocent children that may be caught in between the couples.


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This book details all you need to know about relationships: Abuse, broken relationships, divorce, conflicts, management, effect on children, in-laws, couples, etc



 
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 Title: Relationship: What  You Should Know and do Before You Enter Into One ...and  After

 

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As a basic rule, whenever you have more than one person together there is bound to be a conflict. To avoid complex psychological argument that you could have a conflict even within an individual (such as body-mind split or lack of coordination between the brain and the body of a person), I will stick with my basic rule. Therefore, the minimum is two people together. They could be focusing on the same task or different tasks. For example: two children who are playing together could end up having a disagreement even though they will make up soon. A manager and his employee could disagree and have conflicts. Whenever there is a relationship, there is bound to be conflicts. It could be about a thing that conflicts with an individual’s interests, or it could be disagreement about how to achieve a target. In human relationships this simple principle holds even between the tongue and the teeth so close, yet the teeth can occasionally bite into the tongue as they say, when there is a disagreement, or if you like in medical terms, “dis-co-ordination” between the tongue and the teeth!

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In marriage and in any relationship whatever its form or shape, there is a supposedly high level of trust between the couple, dependency on each other for security and financial support by the couple as well as the children in the relationship---all depending on one another for their overall well being---in an atmosphere of trust. In addition, there is a high level of expectation for the future by the children and the couples as well. They all want to live trouble-free, stress-free lives. No reasonable person likes trouble in any event. Hanging on this expectation, as we have seen, are happiness, mental stability of the couple or the individuals as well as the mental, physical and future stability of any children who may be involved.  Similarly, the happiness of in-laws, who are secure in the knowledge that their children are in “love” and in stable relationships, may take a knock. Family members and friends may also be directly or indirectly affected by the break down of the marriage or relationship.

The larger society also depends on marriage for nurturing the next generation of individuals and to give effect to the mental as well as physical and social stability or cohesion to everyone that are involved in the marriage.

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From these innocent dependencies, it is clear and predictable what the likely effects of marriage and relationship break ups would be. It is relatively easy to predict the likely impact of a broken relationship and broken homes.  Thinking globally and biologically, regardless of any religious inclination, it appears that any home, family and couples, who keep, strictly, to their biologically assigned roles are less likely to have conflicts. That is man function as man and woman functions as woman. Why would a true male of XY gene want to usurp the female function to be pregnant?

Why would a male father fail to instruct, defend and secure his children and home when he is healthy, employed and able to do so? I am not unaware of the roles that the law or various legal systems have played in blurring the gender roles or supposed ill-feeling by men that the law has been used in emasculation of male capabilities, however, the more these biological roles are blurred, the more the likelihood of conflicts. This is perhaps the reason that in homes across the world and cultures where their roles are kept intact, there is less chance of conflicts.
 

That is to say, peace will endure in situations when men keep their biological roles where women feel safe, healthy and secure without oppression from the men. It should nevertheless be remembered that men are ultimately, in most homes, responsible for domestic provisions and security. That said, conflict will be less likely when women give support to the men without contempt, betrayal and embarrassments against the man This is especially so when things occasionally fail to measure up to expectations. In saying this, let me go into further real life details to explain what specific issues lead to conflict in human intimate relationships, for that is the crux of the matter, as the saying goes.

 

On the woman:  Though the role of who is the  “the breadwinner”  in a family is changing, and in some places, the man is no longer the breadwinner, there is evidence that in a lot of families, the woman still depends on the man to provide some assistance. In fact, socially, regardless of how much the Continue this here...
 

For the man: Given the traditional role of the man as the one who the family, including the wife, depends on for support, the financial impact of marriage failure may not be as pronounced for men as for women, but that does not erase the adverse effect on the man. In some homes, of course, the female spouse may be the breadwinner, but that does not remove the perceived role of the man. In any case, a home where this role is reversed, except for when the man is disabled, is likely to be an unstable relationship. Women, we know, are likely to taunt the man to the point where he may call it quits. 
 

As I was pointing out earlier, the impact of separation and divorce on the man may become more apparent if the couple have similar earnings and contribute close to or equally to their living. This synergy, you may remember, may have allowed the couple to live a life that is far beyond the earnings of a single individual. That is to say, the impact could also.. Continue this here...***. 
 

 

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In some cases, as is often the case, either or both of the couple could lose their cherished matrimonial home, savings and pensions to the other, or the home could be sold entirely as part of the settlement. The implication Continue this here...