Chapter Seven
Is this Love or Deceit? Why Does “Love”
Hurt so Badly?
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.” Anais Nin
Imagine this: you see a still picture of someone for the first time over the internet, a person whom you have never met. You do not know what the person looks like in real life but after a little chat; the person declares that he or she loves you. Similarly, let us assume, you are in a party and you meet someone who speaks well with you in a casual talking session. You had no background knowledge of the person. After a little discussion, the person tells you that he/she loves you. You are surprised at this. You ask: Can this be love? Will this be love? The question lingers on in your mind. Now, let us assume this “love”, whatever its meaning, lasted for the next one hour. After that, the person who supposedly loved you makes you upset. You got angry. You left the room and slammed the door after you. Think again: Where is this love going? Do you still think this is love? You began to ask critical questions. So far, your questions and bewilderment remain unanswered. Perhaps, you got a flicker of an answer. You nevertheless remain confused.
***
Whatever your answer is, let us further examine the subject of “love” and “hate” as it impacts on your relationship. What I have just explained are the experiences of many adolescents who are in impassioned “love”. These scenarios are real life events which have happened to many adults. To so many, “love”, without thoughts, comes and goes like a fume. To some, the word is meaningless. To millions, though, the word conjures pain and emotional hurt which is succinctly explained like this in the words of Aaron: “They say loving you gives pains and is full of sacrifices. But I'll rather take pains and lots of sacrifices than not to be loved by you”. They are prepared to go though with it in spite of the pain.
Yet to millions of people across the word, it is a word that connotes a session and life of bliss and euphoria. On the contrary, love can be transient like the morning dew or it can have the permanence of the Sun. Please sit comfortably as we enter into an explosive yet lively and unpredictable phase of human character.
************
This book details all you need to know about relationships: Love, romance, abuse, broken relationships, divorce, conflicts, management, effect on children, in-laws, couples.
The book below provided extensive details about child abuse, why it occurs, long and short term effects and solutions.
Compare prices or buy now
Title: Relationship: What You Should Know and do Before You Enter Into One ...and After
**********
Much has been made of the subject of “love” in a relationship. Some have asserted that it forms the basis of their relationship. Some have said it should form the foundation of any relationship: the driving force, perhaps, of every personal relationship. Is this a delusional idea?
However, a look at what is on record by listening to and reading research works shows that “love” means different things to different people. Meanwhile, few buzz words can generate so many emotions or could bring about so much unrestrained expression as the subject of love. Yet no one has been able to define what it means accurately.
The issue as stake here is whether love is important to a relationship? If so, why do we witness murders and harmful acts between individuals that are supposedly in “love”?
***
Therefore, it is the aim of this chapter to explore the true meaning of “love”. The chapter would then continue with a discussion of the purpose of love and why its failings hurt so badly in relationships, marriages, and other inter-personal relationships, such as father-son, father-daughter, mother-son, daughter-husband relationships, as well as between platonic friends.
I do intend not to bother the reader with complexities of love, the history and evolution of it. I shall leave those for the academics in our midst. My true intention is to explore how best to apply love in our relationships.
Before I give my definition, let me consider the various languages or the intention to give “love”. Here are some of the common phrases that people all over the world use on different occasions to express their love. Examples: “I love you”, “I love my cat”, “I love my wife”, “I love my husband”, “I love my country”, “For God so love the world…”, “God’s love”, “ …unconditional love”, “love is blind”, “love from the heart” and of course, so many other ways of expressing “love”.
What is love?
We should note the various phrases which I have quoted above about love. Therefore for love to be valid and manifested, it must be expressed as words or acts which can be rendered in a variety of ways. The methods of doing this are as varied as the culture and languages of expression and that is why love means different things to different people in so many different cultures.
Similarly, “love” can be expressed by means of spoken word, written word (say poetry, letters) and by acts such as intimate ones (kissing, platonic or otherwise). The other routes of expressing “love” include: music, SMS/texts and emails.
Nevertheless, one area or perhaps, an act where love is so manifestly expressed is during sex in the case of intimate and legitimate relationships. In this occasion, one might hear in the peak of the act “I love you”. The question remains: Is this really true? We shall see the true nature of the human mind in a while...Continue here
Is “love blind”?
This is a common saying, sadly. Love is...
Continue here
Table of Contents
Acknowledgement
Dedication
Introduction: Every Human Dilemma
Section I
Intimate Relationships
Chapter One:
Names Do Matter
Chapter Two:
The Root of Relationships and the Crucible of
Controversy
Chapter Three:
The Purpose of Marriage
Chapter Four:
The Choice of Spouse and Partner:
Free Will and the Choices that We Make
Chapter Five:
Why Marriages and Relationships Fail or
Succeed
Chapter Six:
Adolescent Relationship: The Turbulent Years
Chapter Seven:
Is this Love or Deceit? Why Does “Love”
Hurt so Badly?
Chapter Eight:
Advantages and Disadvantages of Marriage
And Partnership/Co-habitation Relationships,
With Legal, Medical, Social, Implications
Chapter Nine:
Consequences of Broken Marriages and
Broken Relationships
Chapter Ten:
Broken Marriages: Effects on Children
Chapter Eleven:
Broken Marriages/Partnerships: Effects on
Relatives, Friends and In-laws
Chapter Twelve:
Broken Marriages: Effects on Society
Chapter Thirteen:
Anger and Frustration: Causes,
And Management in Relationships
Chapter Fourteen:
There is Power in Knowing: Talking Frankly with You
Chapter Fifteen:
Relationship Questionnaire/Assessment Scales
Chapter Sixteen:
Conflict Resolutions in Relationships
Chapter Seventeen:
Sex in Relationships: Snare or Serenity?
Is Sex Necessary?
Chapter Eighteen:
Gender Differences: What You Should Know
Chapter Nineteen:
Sample of Marriage/Partnership Agreement
Section II
Platonic Relationships
(Non-Sexual Relationships)
Chapter Twenty:
Friendships
Chapter Twenty One:
Children, Siblings and Extended Family Relationships
Chapter Twenty Two:
Business Relationships
Section III
Experience
Chapter Twenty Three:
Maintenance of Relationships
Chapter Twenty Four:
Instances of One-Sided Relationships:
Abuse of Relationships
Chapter Twenty Five:
Stories of Successful and Dreadfully Failed Relationships
Twenty Six:
Conclusion
***
References 330
Buy or Compare prices or buy now
Title: Relationship: What You Should Know and do Before You Enter Into One ...and After
See Also
Now Published. 10 Dec, 2009.
Buy Now. Compare Prices Here
