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| Confused - Katia Attard |
I have been in a relationship for the past 2 yrs. We live together. He still treats me like the first days of our relationship, he is nice, affectionate and he is present in our relationship. But he is the type of person that has a very low self esteem, he is jealous (although he tells me to go out if i have any work dinners, i know that he does not like it) and aobviously i don't go, if we have an argument, firstly he says all type of sorts of things but then he is sry and pleads me to forgive him. He is constantly afraid that i leave him, infact he asks me everyday if i have missed him, which it irritates me cos i am quite a nervous person. And i don't find the use of asking the same question, if i didn't i wouldn't go home after work every single day, i don't even stay long at work just so that he finds me at home when he arrives.
Lately i feel like i can't take it anymore, i am tired, cos although that i am not cheating on him, i love him etc , i know that he thinks otherwise, cos he needs constant assurance, which i'm just tired to give.
I feel the need to move on with my life but on the other hand i am afraid that i will regret it cos we really have a laugh together and i truly feel his love for me.
I am so confused
Pls someone helps me |
| Re : Confused - My E-Expert - (08th Oct 2009)
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Dear Katia.
Thank you for asking for our support on this matter. We have considered it. We do, as you , recognise that you love this man though he is clearly in need of reassurance ever so often.
Except for this irritation and the need to provide him the trust, there seems to be nothing bad about your relationship. If anything, its a stable and robust relationship.
Now, relationship is about give and take: For better for worse. Your strength may be his weakness and your short-comings may be his powerhouse. He makes you better and you make him feel good about himself. You promote him, he adds value to your life. You support him, he treats you well and vice versa.
If all that is required is just to reassure him I suppose, from the surface, the relationship is worth it compared to what other people go through. How are you sure the next man will not be worse?
Remember, you are not perfect either in your conducts. So think about it.
Therefore, from a clinical prespective, he needs a pep-talk and I do not think, this is expensive to bear though a little irritation. If on the other hand, you find it intolerable to continue the relationship, still have a word with your man before you enter into serious long term commitment.
Also, let him be aware now that he has your full trust and he need not to worry about anything. Have a good, civil, non-hostile communication with him always. It helps.
Try our book which covers a lot about this subject.
Meanwhile, please let us know if you require more assistance.
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